In early childhood, it seemed I liked milk a lot and drunk so many of it instead of eating meals (according to my mother).
This intensive intake of high molecular protains to immature intestine may have helped to start my allegy.

I myself don't remember that. I dislike milk as far as I know. That's interesting.
Dr. randolf says allegic people sometimes avoid their allergens unconsciously by having a dislike.

I had little interest in eating. I ate meals very little.
I prefered sweet confectioneries.
Eating circumstance in babyhood has a great influence on formation of one's eating habit. My mother liked sweets, too.

I was a small weak child who frequently had cold.
My face was pale like my father.
I liked reading books, drawing and thinking, while I was very poor in exercise or gymnastics.
When I got exercise, I sweated little compared with other persons. I rarely cried or got mad. I was quiet.

My probable low metabolism could be one important cause of my AD.

Still, I played outside everyday until around 9 years old.
Then I came to spend much time studying for entrance exam of junior high school.
But I didn't stay awake till late at night.

From the age of 12 to 18, I commuted a girl's school in Tokyo by train. The commute took about 2.5 hours a day.
Nevertheless I tended to keep awake till late in adolescent meditation. I occationaly had diarrhea in the morning from lack of sleep.

My urban new friends were highly different from rural elementary school friends. Their refined way of speaking to teacher or in an official capacity astonished me.
Such big change of surrounding made me to feel pressures at first.

My AD started to be obvious and fixed.

I used topical corticosteroids sometimes according to the prescription of my pediatrician father.
I scratched myself when I came back home.

But AD was not such problem for me then.
The erution was partial which didn't cause strong itch, and exposed parts including my face were fairly intact.
Water smarted my wounded skin, which made me hate swimming, but luckily my school had no swimming class.
Although someone said sea bathing is effective to improve AD skin, I couldn't help avoiding it; the pain was just like a torture for me.

Since these priod of time, I got to eat meals as usual but I ate very slowly.
I did little exercise. Once I started to go to a tennis club, but I couldn't continue because of my too poor play.
I find a somewhat fatty stooped-shouldered girl in a snapshot of these days.

University times. I went to a medical school.

Feeling like to get workout, I joined the tennis club activities.
This time since our club didn't have much skillful woman players, I could go on.
I played constantly throughout 6 years including hot summer and cold winter.
Those were the most healthy days of my life. I yearn for those days.

I lived most of the time by myself near the university and used a bicycle all the time.
I was a biginner at cooking. I started to cook referring to books, but not good at that. In late years, I tended to go out to eat with my friends.

My AD remained at rubbing parts of body; so as neck, the inside bend of elbow knee. Some of those were slightly lichenous lesions. I could sweat without suffering so much itch.
Trabeling with my friends, they said I had scratched at night.

But I needed little steroids. I was in fairly good condition.

Then I became a doctor; dermatologist.
I was very busy. I had to study much things and work hard. Frequent night time work.

All of my meals were catering and food service.
I had almost no time and friends to play tennis.
Moreover, I had to buy a car in need of going to distant hospitals. Since then I always used my car and rarely walked or rided a bicycle.

I didn't notice that these lack of exercises were slowly going to change my body.
I was living a full life but was getting a malign habit. That was smoking.

Within 2 years, my AD had no change.

On the 3rd year of my career, I went to a countryside hospital.
More responsible works gave me the sense of fulfillment, but I had little holidays to feel ease.

In addition to I had lost my important friend the last year, all of my friends were far from there. Except occational practice of the hospital' s tennis circle, I often felt empty and didn't eat well.

At the end of that time, my upper eyelids started to scale.
That was the beginning of worsening.
Unlike previous eruptions, steroid ointments did not cure the scaling.

From 4th to 7th years of my career, I went back to the university hospital then went to other hospitals. This time I could keep my residence all the time.
I did know residential change was often very stressful. All of one's life should be changed.

The work was hard and responsible. I was immersed in work.
At holidays, I stayed home sleeping all day.
I didn't eat at morning, eat lunch in irregular hours, eat dinner out.
I smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.

Scaling and erythema which originated upper eyelids spread to various places of my face.

I prescribed ointments contains medium steroids for myself.
It extinguished the eruptions immediately, but soon I found I could not be glad of it. More severe eruptions came back after a few days when I stop applying.

In the long run, steroid looked merely worsening the symptoms! -That was shocking for me, as a dermatologist who has prescribed prenty of steroid ointments to numerous patients, as a patient as well.

I 've been thinking that steroids are good for eczematous lesion.
But--I couldn't think so any more.
As I think over past cases, I could remind many patients who are in bad condition with steroids. Nevertheless, I had thought steroids to be the better way than any other therapy.

Now I could not accept to keep applying steroids on my face.
I realized patients could know sometimes more than their doctors by constant close serial obsevation of their symptoms and by their intuitions which were deeply related to feeling of their bodies.

Red scaling face was not a little stressful since it attract attention of others.
Farthermore, I was a delmatologist who are to cure AD!
I felt if I could hide my face in front of my dermatologic patients at mornings of swallen eyelids. Night work sometimes caused flash or swelling in a fit.
Of course I noticed hard work worsen my skin conditions, but I had to fulfill my duties.

I endured with oily application (contained no steroids) and occational oral antihistamines.
Not only the face, also my body skin was worsening. I found quite a few itch paied me when I played tennis rarely. That made me even more reluctant to exercises.

8-9th years of my career.
I got married, moved, and changed the workplace.
I choosed a part-time job to sped down my life.
I quit smoking.

I cooked regularly with various ingredients including vesitables for my health and my hasband's delight.
He demanded all dishes to be handmade. That sometimes was too much for me. I often ate instant foods when I was alone.
Breakfast menu were bread, coffee, and yogurt.

The redness and scaling repeated over and over, but were slowly improving.
Housework made my hand eczema worsen.

Though I did not know then, the big problem of that time was our new home.

We lived in a new high-rise condominium full of new materials like plywoods and synthetic resins. Such condominiums, which contains lots of chemicals and were highly airtight, were rapidly increasing in Japan instead of old Japanese house with woods and plasters. The rooms smelled like varnish.

Since they hardly got sunshine and synthetic walls and floors had no warmth, I felt very cold.

Soon, I became pregnant.
Morning sichness was rather strong.

Far from my school friends, I felt lonely. Pregnancy and red face prevented me to go out for playing or find new friends. Like other husbands, mine was busy with his work.

In late pregnancy, my big baby pressed up my lung so that I could hardly sleep. As I was so small, my belly capacity might be smaller than others. I had hard time of tremendous edema.

From the middle of the pregnancy, new itchy eruption originated from the crotch to the abdomen.
I couldn't help applying weak steroid ointments for them. As they went out after delivery, I could stop applying.

I was delivered of a healthy baby girl by caesarean secton.

Soon after that I lost my job.
The manager wanted to shift into lower-cost full-time doctor, but my husband did not permit me to stay away from home such long time.
I couldn't find another job for several month. I felt the unfairness of jender, which was very stressfull to me.

As I was delivered and stop steroids application on the abdomen, my neck began to become red-brown with more scaling.
Moreover, as the trouble of my job occurred, my arm started to have new eczematous lesion which, to my surprise, kept spreading nevertheless of the application of strong steroid ointments.
Then summertime came; sweated parts bore new eczema one after another.

In 8 months after delivery, most of my body was covered with symptoms.

That was the start of the fatal aggravation-.