I describe my recent feelings as an atopic dematitis(AD) doctor as well as an patient.
I saw a saggestive Japanese TV drama, in which the hero can heal sick ones at once by just touching their body by his hand.
In the drama a man asked him,
"Whant kind of diseases can you cure, any disease?"
His reply was "No, only within the extent of health insurance.", which amused me so much.
He tells the heroine that he can cure her daughter's bronchial athma, but I don't think he can.
Because insurated modern medicine can control the sumptoms of athma, but doesn't have a way to lead it to a
As I enjoy the drama, I feel that such miracle cures are all people's dream.
I surely is one of those.
On the other hand, I recently read essays of Japanese talents and athletes who had been sick.
I was surprised several ones among them who I thought was very healthy and happy were suffering of diseases in secret.
I recognized then that anyone cannot be free from diseases.
Provided we are human, diseases are always our neighbours.
I myself has been suffering one of such difficult disease, AD, for these 2 decades.
Though I am slowly getting better and can ordinarily work half of a week now, I spent my 30's-40's working little till I almost reach my 50's.
Everyday I still live endeavoing to endure the suffering of sickness, impatience, anxiety, fear, misery and despair.... .
I once wrote in this site my mind prepararion that
"I won't persist in the complete cure."
I can declare I truely thought so, however, at the same time, it meant the opposite phase of my mind, which realized and grieved it was my impossible dream.
After all, I want to get a complete cure of AD, if possible.
I am not so greedy to intend fine beautifle skin, but I always desire days when I can live without nuisance of AD.
I admit this AD is my fate, although I never resign myself to stay in the fate.
It should be a karma as I am a human.
I will not attain enlightenment throughout my life.
As a doctor, I go my hospital and see many delmatologial patients day by day.
I examine them, talk to them and see off them.
I often feel their strong hope to be cured then.
In suffering of sickness, they want to know what are happening in their bodies, why are they happeing, what should they do to improve them and whether they can really be cured or not.
They come to hospitals for help.
Of course hospitals have much help for sick people.
But sometimes, there may be a little or no help.
I always treat every patient of me hoping to be cured,
but it does not necessarily work.
Someone must keep coming to hospital, another cannot get sufficient improvement in spite of effots of the doctor and the patient himself.
Modern medicine still have much diseases it cannot cure, or even diagnose.
Patients will wish doctors to be perfect, but to my regret, doctors' abilities are limited.
Still, they keep on struggling every day or night to improve their patients better.
I also want to keep struggling, never giving up!
There will not be a miracle cure like just touching by a hand, though everybody dreams of it.
If AD is a easily curable disease, somewhere in the world, somebody must have already achieved an artificial complete cure of AD.
I wonder what is happening in AD patients' bodies.
Something which differs from a healthy person must be happening.
Different allergens, different diseases should make some special different situations in patients compared with the healthy.
Even if the situations are definitely complicated, there should be each mechanism to happen.
Then, I believe there must be a way to go back the maze when we can trace the exact way it happened reversely.
Now, I add a topic of human anatomy.
Recently I restudy anatomy for chiropractic training, and feel astonished how minute human body is.
Bones, muscles, tendons, nerves, vessels and organs,
all such functonal ingredients have their peculiar effective shapes, are packed in our bodies precisely and are combined each other to establish each or cooporated purposeful acts.
They are so incrediblly thorough that I often lose time admiring of the beautifulness.
I'm sure wisest humans would not be able to create a masterpiece like this.
I mean nature is great so as to we humans are small.
Therefore, we should be humble.
Human-intending cure will be like a play of a child compared to the act of the nature.
Allogant men will stay far from the miracles of the nature.
I want to keep going on with not a greed for cure, but a hope of cure till the end of my life.
I trust possibilities of green humans.